Pre Season Email 1
Missed me? Oh how I've missed you this last month! Welcome to the
Albert Park Summer season and my last season of writing incomprehensible
gibberish at you. Yes, life moves on and so do I. In May I'll be
moving to Italy to do nothing for six months except sit around on my
expanding behind, to come back to Australia with a good walrus
impersonation. But enough about me and my troubles.
The season is about to start and it looks like being an absolute
cracker. I'm particularly looking forward to seeing my first dust-burn
injury from laying out. In our extra-dry state it is your patriotic
duty to come down and play, and sweat on that poor dilapidated grass.
So here are your first week opportunities:
Mixed Divisions, Round 1, Jan. 15
7pm MUF v Ultimately Social
LaTUF v MUFcoy
MUCUS Regurgitated v Infinity and Jelly Donuts
8:30pm I Wish I Was As Sweet As v The Hat Team
Honey Badgers v Red
White v Black
Note that the Division One games are always played in the late time
slot, as these people are much more focussed and don't mind missing work
the next day. Also:
Social Division, Round 1, Jan. 17
7:30pm training
8:30pm Kings and Queens Social Division
9:30pm pub and buy Michelle drinks for being great!
If those don't satisfy your needs, there is Box Hill League on Thursday
nights and pick-up beach games at a beach near you until the end of
January. Or there are Chilly try-outs and womens games as well. Check
out http://vfda.asn.au/ for further details.
Ciao,
Sam
Albert Park League report, week 1
Hi all,
Ah summer season! You have begun with a flourish and with results. For
every game, or so the rumour goes. I'm not sure as currently I have no
network connection seeing as I'm in my local pub. Damn it! I thought
the wireless would work here, seeing as the home phone does. I'll have
to move closer.
What I can tell you is that next week there will be more games. Monday
night sees the continuation of both Divisions One (late and serious) and
Two (early and late and better looking). These are as follows:
Round 2, Jan. 22
7pm Ultimately Social v I Wish I Was As Sweet As
MUCUS Regurgitated v Tepid Romantic Explosion
LaTUF v Infinity and Jelly Donuts
8:30pm MUF v MUFcoy
Black v Red
White v Honey Badgers
Wednesday Social is also continuing: feel free to come along. I was
going to last week but then I had to fly to Adelaide. The Division
(8:30pm) is preceded by training (7:30pm) and succeeded by going to the
pub (9:30pm). Sounds social to me.
If all that doesn't float your boat, there's beach games, trainings and
probably disc golf happening as well. All exciting in the lead up to
Nationals at Latrobe. Who says I don't have my finger on the ultimate
pulse? (yeah, okay it was me...)
Sam
PS Considering the next Chinese year will be the Year of the Pig and I
am very superstitious, I am pleased to bring you a slightly new segment
of your weekly email: your luck report. This week be aware of bears,
they're quite unlucky. Buy a winning lotto ticket though, they're good.
Gentlemen be wary of embarrassing situations, but if it is something
that you find enjoyable don't be shy: just consider how others may
perceive you. Ladies, blue is definitely your colour this week.
Albert Park League report, week 2
Welcome to another email, and yet another search for a reflection of my
yin. Or is that yang? What I do know is that it is Sunday afternoon
and I've eaten enough yum cha to ensure typing errors as I attempt to
peer past my stomach. For those spending their Sunday running around a
field: more power to you.
A fascinating set of results this week. So fascinating that I'm going
to give you last week's results below instead. After one round a full
six teams from the two Monday night Divisions remained undefeated. Who
would have thought? After Round Two, three Division Two and one
Division One team has a zero-loss record, which is about average or at
least within one standard deviation from the mean. No, I don't know
what I'm talking about either. This coming week on Monday we have:
Round 3, Jan. 29
7pm LaTUF v Tepid Romantic Explosion
MUF v Infinity and Jelly Donuts
Ultimately Social v MUFcoy
8:30pm MUCUS Regurgitated v I Wish I Was As Sweet As
Black v Honey Badgers
KKK (white) v Red
Could both LaTUF and Tepid bring down both black and light tops (plus a
few spares for those who are too busy to read this email)? There is
probably going to have to be something fair like a flip for the shirts...
Wednesday. Sounds like fun. I'm going to be bullying myself into going
down this week, and I suggest you do the same. 7:30pm training, 8:30pm
game, then social stuff.
Regards,
Sam
PS Cancerians: you have a lame but edible star sign. Those planning on
buying cars this week, consider one with five wheels. Creative types:
feel free to submit your own fortune...
--
Mixed Division Two
_______________________________________________________________
|________________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Monash Uni (blue) | 1| 1| 0| 0| 4| 13|
| 2 LaTUF (black) | 1| 1| 0| 0| 4| 8|
| 3 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) | 1| 1| 0| 0| 4| 6|
| 4 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian)| 1| 1| 0| 0| 4| 1|
| 5 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) | 1| 0| 1| 0| 0| -1|
| 6 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) | 1| 0| 1| 0| 0| -6|
| 7 MUFcoy (yellow) | 1| 0| 1| 0| 0| -8|
| 8 Ultimately Social (green) | 1| 0| 1| 0| 0|-13|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 1 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) 10 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian) 11
Round 1 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) 13 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) 7
Round 1 Monash Uni (blue) 15 Ultimately Social (green) 2
Round 1 LaTUF (black) 15 MUFcoy (yellow) 7
Mixed Division One
_________________________________________________
|__________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Red | 1| 1| 0| 0| 4| 6|
| 2 Black | 1| 1| 0| 0| 4| 1|
| 3 White | 1| 0| 1| 0| 0| -1|
| 4 Honey Badgers (yellow)| 1| 0| 1| 0| 0| -6|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 1 Black 11 White 10
Round 1 Red 13 Honey Badgers (yellow) 7
Albert Park League report, week 3
Yo,
A good week for ultimate last week and it looks like it will be a warm
one this week. On Monday at least. For this report I have the week
before's results, because I don't want to build up expectations. That
way I can surprise you all sometime. I can't remember what happened
last Monday anyway. This coming Monday we have the following games:
Round 4 Feb. 5
7pm I Wish I Was As Sweet As v Infinity and Jelly Donuts
MUFcoy v Tepid Romantic Explosion
MUF v MUCUS Regurgitated
8:30pm LaTUF v Ultimately Social
Honey Badgers v Red
KKK (white) v Black
Please note that there has been a slight change to the roster as I got
the weeks for the Grand Prix in March wrong. Alternatively I was
misinformed or deliberately misled. Either way I don't care about a
bunch of go-carts wizzing around in circles. Also note that the new
version of the WFDF rules is now in effect. Please read them.
Seriously, read them. You'd be amazed how much less time you spend
standing around arguing. Wednesday looks stunning: go to Social. I'll
definitely attempt to consider being there, so I think you should too.
Regards,
Sam
PS On the 17th of February we move from the Year of the Dog to the Year
of the Pig (Yin Fire Pig of course). This bodes well for those fat
bastards on the field, whose natural pig-cunning will start to overcome
the lanky puppy-style player who runs long, catches the disc and then
wants to play tug-of-war. The stars do not bode well for anyone who
drinks beer. Cous cous is tasty.
--
Mixed Division Two
_______________________________________________________________
|________________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Monash Uni (blue) | 2| 2| 0| 0| 8| 23|
| 2 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) | 2| 2| 0| 0| 8| 18|
| 3 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian)| 2| 2| 0| 0| 8| 4|
| 4 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) | 2| 1| 1| 0| 4| 9|
| 5 LaTUF (black) | 2| 1| 1| 0| 4| 5|
| 6 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) | 2| 0| 2| 0| 0|-16|
| 7 MUFcoy (yellow) | 2| 0| 2| 0| 0|-18|
| 8 Ultimately Social (green) | 2| 0| 2| 0| 0|-25|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 2 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) 15 Ultimately Social
(green) 3
Round 2 Monash Uni (blue) 15 MUFcoy
(yellow) 5
Round 2 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) 5 MUCUS Regurgitated
(blue-white) 15
Round 2 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian) 13 LaTUF
(black) 10
Mixed Division One
_________________________________________________
|__________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Black | 2| 2| 0| 0| 8| 8|
| 2 Red | 2| 1| 1| 0| 4| -1|
| 3 Honey Badgers (yellow)| 2| 1| 1| 0| 4| 0|
| 4 KKK (white) | 2| 0| 2| 0| 0| -7|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 2 KKK (white) 9 Honey Badgers (yellow) 15
Round 2 Red 6 Black 13
Albert Park League report, week 4
Hi,
Week four of the summer season has rolled around and gone. Time passes
by like the sands through an hour glass... Sorry, the English win in
the cricket makes me feel melancholy given I have an English girlfriend.
Either that or I need more sleep. Whatever the case I'll be perked up
with the prospect of ultimate yet again on Monday night! Games this
week are:
Round 5 Feb. 12
7pm MUFcoy v Infinity and Jelly Donuts
MUF v I Wish I Was As Sweet As
Ultimately Social v Tepid Romantic Explosion
8:30pm LaTUF v MUCUS Regurgitated
Organic Stealtharama (black) v Red Steel
Krispy Kreme Klowns (white) v Honey Badgers
Note this is as scheduled, as originally intended, and not as Sascha "Is
That A Santa Suit In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me?"
Humphreys tried to organise. Also could someone from Keystone Kop
Karaoke please tell me what your real name is, or I'll start making up
something really silly, assuming white sheets aren't your forte.
Further, IWIWASATOT have managed forfeits for the first four games of
the season: sorry people, but you were told about paying up on time.
Wednesday. Those people are gods. You should go and check it out.
Regards,
Sam
PS Statistically speaking 78% of fortunes are correct. That means just
over three quarters of the following predictions will be right.
--
Mixed Division Two
_______________________________________________________________
|________________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian)| 4| 4| 0| 0|16| 22|
| 2 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) | 4| 3| 1| 0|12| 20|
| 3 LaTUF (black) | 4| 3| 1| 0|12| 20|
| 4 Monash Uni (blue) | 4| 2| 2| 0| 8| 14|
| 5 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) | 4| 2| 2| 0| 8| -5|
| 6 MUFcoy (yellow) | 4| 1| 3| 0| 4|-18|
| 7 Ultimately Social (green) | 4| 1| 3| 0| 4|-13|
| 8 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) | 4| 0| 0| 4| 0|-40|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 4 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) 12 Monash Uni (blue)
11
Round 4 Ultimately Social (green) 8 LaTUF (black)
13
Round 4 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian) won game by forfeit over I
Wish I Was Sweet As (white)
Round 4 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) 12 MUFcoy (yellow)
7
Mixed Division One
________________________________________________________
|_________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Red Steel | 4| 3| 1| 0|12| 2|
| 2 Honey Badgers (yellow) | 4| 2| 2| 0| 8| 5|
| 3 Organic Stealtharama (black) | 4| 2| 2| 0| 8| -6|
| 4 Krusty's Krispy Kream (white)| 4| 1| 3| 0| 4| -1|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 4 Honey Badgers (yellow) 7 Red Steel
8
Round 4 Organic Stealtharama (black) 5 Krusty's Krispy Kream (white)
13
Albert Park League report, week 5
Hi,
Another week down and we are half way through the season. Can you feel
the tension building?! No? Well, let's see what we can do about that.
Let's consider Monday nights, seeing as my knowledge of Wednesday
nights is crap.
Division One has five more weeks of rounds remaining, given that there
are only four teams and only Simon Normand would consider semi's a good
idea. Damned close at this point of the season, with all teams on
either two or three wins. Kamp Kamp Kamp (the season equivalent of
British band "Wet Wet Wet") are third but have the highest goal
difference. Orgasmic Stealtharama are first with the lowest GD. Go
figure. Humping Badgers are in the unfamiliar position of last on the
ladder. Blue Steel are looking good. Given that each team will play
each other at least one more time, I'd suggest a strategy of being ahead
in points at the end of the game.
Division Two is a bit more interesting from a descriptive point of view,
probably due to there being more teams. IWIWASA managed their first
"win" of the season, having finally paid the fees. (What can I say
about this new, hard-nosed VFDA administration? I would have made them
forfeit too.) Given that a top four place at the moment only requires
three wins, any team can still make the semi-finals. The round-robin
will complete in round 7. Magnum PI and MUCUS Regurg are certainly
setting the early pace though.
This weeks games are as follows (thanks Sascha you film-organising
love-monkey!):
Round 6, Feb. 19
7pm LaTUF v I Wish I Was As Sweet As
MUF v Tepid Romantic Explosion
Kamp Kamp Kamp (white) v Red Steel
8:30pm MUCUS Regurgitated v MUFcoy
Orgasmic Stealtharama v Honey Badgers
Ultimately Social v Infinity and Jelly Donuts
See you Monday. Should still be warm...
Sam
This week's luck report: Triplet Geminis born in the Year of the Cat
under a Rising Moon on the night of Geoff, God of Biscuits - throw long
- trust me. For the rest of you, with the prevailing weather and
position of the stars, try some floaty throws like soobas and push
passes. Most will work. Don't invest in resource shares.
--
Mixed Division Two
_______________________________________________________________
|________________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian)| 5| 5| 0| 0|20| 32|
| 2 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) | 5| 4| 1| 0|16| 30|
| 3 LaTUF (black) | 5| 3| 2| 0|12| 10|
| 4 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) | 5| 3| 2| 0|12| 3|
| 5 Monash Uni (blue) | 5| 2| 3| 0| 8| 10|
| 6 MUFcoy (yellow) | 5| 1| 4| 0| 4|-28|
| 7 Ultimately Social (green) | 5| 1| 4| 0| 4|-21|
| 8 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) | 5| 1| 0| 4| 4|-36|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 5 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) 11 Monash Uni (blue)
7
Round 5 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) 15 LaTUF (black)
5
Round 5 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian) 15 MUFcoy (yellow)
5
Round 5 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) 14 Ultimately Social
(green) 6
Mixed Division One
_______________________________________________________
|________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Organic Stealtharama (black)| 5| 3| 2| 0|12| -4|
| 2 Red Steel | 5| 3| 2| 0|12| 0|
| 3 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white)| 5| 2| 3| 0| 8| 5|
| 4 Honey Badgers (yellow) | 5| 2| 3| 0| 8| -1|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 5 Organic Stealtharama (black) 11 Red Steel
9
Round 5 Honey Badgers (yellow) 9 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white)
15
Albert Park League report, week 6
Week 6 over. Week 7 draws upon us like the miasma of impending doom
that reflects our turgid existence on this ball of spinning rock
hurtling through space to it's final heat death. But enough of the
cheery stuff: there's ultimate to talk about.
In general I don't have a clue what is going on. I think some people
are training, others are booking flights to sunny Tasmania and others
are frantically running around organising National tournaments. Instead
of hearing from them, you get bollocks from me. And a couple of
recommendations for Hobart: Muirs has reasonable seafood, although I
must state my preference for the fish shop in King Street in Sandy Bay.
T-42 is a pretty good bar right where the boats dock at the end of the
Sydney-Hobart, Knopwoods in Salamanca is an institution, and North
Hobart has some excellent restaurants. The locals can definitely guide
you to better bars than I can (Jemery, Shavawn, Ash, Mike, Matt etc).
The colonial collection of art at the Tas. Museum and Art Gallery is
also worth popping into. And if you go up the mountain, on the way back
into the city definitely turn right at the first roundabout along
Strickland Ave: you won't be disappointed.
Last week saw IWAISAWASSWA's first win, unlike as previously reported (I
told you I don't know what is going on). They did it in crunching
style: in fact all Div 2 games were either decided by a margin of 14 or
1. That'll affect the average; the median: not so much. It has
completely buggered the kurtosis though. Tepid and LaTUF are currently
equal in that all important fourth place on the ladder. Div 1 saw the
Orgasms and Red break away from Krusty's Kream Kwagmire and Badgers. Is
this the thin edge of the wedge? We will have to wait and see. Games
this coming week are:
Round 7, Feb. 26
7pm LaTUF v MUF
Ultimately Social v MUCUS Regurgitated
Infinity and Jelly Donuts v Tepid Romantic Explosion
8:30pm I Wish I Was As Sweet As v MUFcoy
Honey Badgers v Red Steel
Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white) v Organic Stealtharama (black)
Also don't forget Wednesday night Social Division which is still open
for people to join. 7:30pm training, 8:30pm games, 9:30pm or so pub.
See you on Monday to those going,
Sam
PS This week's lucky number is five. If you get five for spirit,
definitely consider yourself lucky. Five blocks: lucky. Five drops:
lucky. Five throwaways: lucky (four or six and you just suck). Shoes
that go home with their owners are definitely very lucky. Pisces should
be cautious in getting to the fields.
--
Mixed Division Two
_______________________________________________________________
|________________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian)| 6| 6| 0| 0|24| 46|
| 2 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) | 6| 4| 2| 0|16| 29|
| 3 Monash Uni (blue) | 6| 4| 2| 0|16| 25|
| 4 LaTUF (black) | 6| 3| 3| 0|12| -4|
| 5 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) | 6| 3| 3| 0|12| 2|
| 6 MUFcoy (yellow) | 6| 2| 4| 0| 8|-27|
| 7 Ultimately Social (green) | 6| 1| 5| 0| 4|-35|
| 8 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) | 6| 1| 0| 5| 4|-36|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 6 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian) 15 Ultimately Social
(green) 1
Round 6 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) 11 MUFcoy (yellow)
12
Round 6 Monash Uni (blue) 11 Tepid Romantic
Explosion (black) 10
Round 6 LaTUF (black) 1 I Wish I Was Sweet As
(white) 15
Mixed Division One
_______________________________________________________
|________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Organic Stealtharama (black)| 6| 4| 2| 0|16| 5|
| 2 Red Steel | 6| 4| 2| 0|16| 1|
| 3 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white)| 6| 2| 4| 0| 8| 4|
| 4 Honey Badgers (yellow) | 6| 2| 4| 0| 8|-10|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 6 Organic Stealtharama (black) 15 Honey Badgers (yellow)
6
Round 6 Red Steel 10 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white)
9
Albert Park League report, week 7
Hi all,
Seven weeks down and Division Two has finally played the round robin.
Two weeks to go for them and three for Division One before the finals.
So time for a check of the chances. In Div One, Organic and Red Steel
are three games in front. One more win for either and they'll in the
final. Given that they play each other next week, one will be through.
The other game is a must win for Krusty's Kickass Kampers and the
Badgers if they are to stay in the running: both teams have to win every
game to make the final, assuming one of the top two loses their next
three.
Division Two is more complicated on account of their being more teams.
(I was going to use a large word here, but I've been beaten into
submission by Sascha over my lack of factual reporting, and his use of
the word "procumbent" in a sentence. All hail the rightful heir of
Samuel Johnson!) So let's look at the status quo. Tepid are clinging
to their mediocrity with four wins, putting them in fourth place.
Monash and Mucus are on five wins and Magnum PI have six. With two
rounds remaining, at least four wins and most likely five are needed to
make the final. Unfortunately Ultimately Social have left their final
sprint a little late. IWIAWBBAF need the two wins, which seems possible
given they've yet to lose to anything other than market forces.
Unfortunately the tie-break rules mean that even if they win all and
Tepid lose all, Tepid will go through as they have less forfeits.
MUFcoy have a tough rhyming run home against LaTUF and MUF, and again
MUFcoy would lose out on a tie-break with Tepid. A win by LaTUF over
MUFcoy and then one in the last round over the Donuts would give them
the five wins and a place in the final. If they end up on the same
number of wins as Tepid then they will be through given that they beat
Tepid in round thingy. Clear as mud I'm sure. So next week's games are:
Round 8 March 5
7pm MUF v Ultimately Social
LaTUF v MUFcoy
I Wish I Was As Sweet As v Tepid Romantic Explosion
8:30pm MUCUS Regurgitated v Infinity and Jelly Donuts
Organic Stealtharama (black) v Red Steel
Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white) v Honey Badgers
Don't forget/please remember that the two weeks following the fields
will be unavailable due to the Grand Pric.
Of course next week the Social Division games will be continuing on
Wednesdays. If you are to believe reports, Michelle will no longer be
running the hat, as she has broken both arms. I personally do not
believe this given the information came in typed form. I reckon she is
bluffing. Go down and play on Wednesday to be sure, give Mel your
support, buy Michelle a virtual beer and buy a $20 putrid yellow disc.
They are all the rage.
Trala,
Sam
PS Luck report: those wanting to determine their lotto numbers would do
well to pick birthdays. Statistically you are better off picking these
numbers as a large quantity of people pick the numbers that cannot be
birthdays. (Actually statistically you are better off putting your
money in the bank, but don't let me stop you believing some fortune
cookie.) Those born in the Year of the Rat, I would highly recommend
subbing on non-prime number points. Those Capricorns out there: use the
scooba. You will have success. Those with the name Sascha, invariably
you are the only one reading this.
PPS You may be wondering why this report is so early. You are not the
only one.
--
Mixed Division Two
_______________________________________________________________
|________________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian)| 7| 6| 1| 0|24| 40|
| 2 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) | 7| 5| 2| 0|20| 43|
| 3 Monash Uni (blue) | 7| 5| 2| 0|20| 31|
| 4 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) | 7| 4| 3| 0|16| 8|
| 5 LaTUF (black) | 7| 3| 4| 0|12|-10|
| 6 MUFcoy (yellow) | 7| 2| 5| 0| 8|-39|
| 7 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) | 7| 2| 0| 5| 8|-24|
| 8 Ultimately Social (green) | 7| 1| 6| 0| 4|-49|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 7 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) 15 Ultimately Social (green)
1
Round 7 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) 15 MUFcoy (yellow)
3
Round 7 Monash Uni (blue) 12 LaTUF (black)
6
Round 7 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) 13 Infinity and Jelly Donuts
(hawaiian) 7
Mixed Division One
_______________________________________________________
|________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Organic Stealtharama (black)| 7| 5| 2| 0|20| 6|
| 2 Red Steel | 7| 5| 2| 0|20| 6|
| 3 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white)| 7| 2| 5| 0| 8| 3|
| 4 Honey Badgers (yellow) | 7| 2| 5| 0| 8|-15|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 7 Honey Badgers (yellow) 8 Red Steel 13
Round 7 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white) 11 Organic Stealtharama (black) 12
Albert Park League report, week 8
Hi,
Welcome to your special Week 8 Lurgy report, on account of me being at
home sick with the lurgy and writing the early/late report. The other
prospects are daytime television and the builders next door playing the
buzz-saw and "Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass". Shoot me now.
Interesting developments stemming from the last round (remember that?).
Let's start with Monday night Division One. Red Steel beat Organic
Stealtharama to be the first team to make the final, and Kup Kake Kreams
beat Honey Badgers to knock the Badgers out of contention. Bullies. So
what does this mean? Well if the white team with the three K's and no
hoods manage to win their last two games and Organic manage to lose to
Honey Badgers as well, then things become veeery interesting. So
interesting that I'm not going to tell you.
Monday night Division Two has only the one round remaining before the
semi-finals and placement games. LaTUF losing to MUFcoy has placed
their chances of making the semi's in doubt. In the last round LaTUF
need to win against Magnum PI, and have Tepid lose to pip the Explosion
out of fourth spot. Unfortunately for MUFcoy even the win won't push
Tepid out, but will give them the ability to say "damn we were close".
This all makes perfect sense.
The MUCUS win over Magnum PI and the Monash win over Ultimately Social
cements MUCUS, Magnum and Monash in the finals with six wins each. Only
placings are up for grabs for those three teams, and with the games they
have to play against others the ordering may remain the same assuming
they all win their games. Interestingly the separation between MUCUS
and Magnum after playing two games against each other and each winning
one game by one point comes down to overall goal difference. MUCUS has
the edge by five goals. Assuming they both win, placings one and two
will depend -- probably for the first time in this league -- on how well
they beat their opposition in the last round. That will determine who
plays Monash in the semi. Tepid and LaTUF will have additional
supporters at the next game then, beyond their own troubles. Did any of
that make any sense? Maybe if I give you next week's games:
Round 9, March 25
7pm Ultimately Social v I Wish I Was As Sweet As
MUCUS Regurgitated v Tepid Romantic Explosion
LaTUF v Infinity and Jelly Donuts
8:30pm MUF v MUFcoy
Organic Stealtharama (black) v Honey Badgers
Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white) v Red Steel
Wednesday nights are the best. This is obvious because Wednesday is the
longest day name. AND Social is played on Wednesdays. Okay, I've
outdone myself with the most pathetic attempt to support Wednesday
Social ever. All I know is that whenever I go I have a great time. Try it.
Good luck to those training for Nationals,
Sam
PS Luck Report: Chorizo sausage should be considered very lucky over the
next week unless you fall under a vegetarian star sign. Those coming
under earth signs can consider the dusty fields to be extremely
beneficial. Your lucky number is 37, which according to savant Daniel
Tammet is "lumpy like porridge".
--
Mixed Division Two
_______________________________________________________________
|________________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) | 8| 6| 2| 0|24| 44|
| 2 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian)| 8| 6| 2| 0|24| 39|
| 3 Monash Uni (blue) | 8| 6| 2| 0|24| 40|
| 4 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) | 8| 4| 4| 0|16| 1|
| 5 LaTUF (black) | 8| 3| 5| 0|12|-12|
| 6 MUFcoy (yellow) | 8| 3| 5| 0|12|-37|
| 7 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) | 8| 3| 0| 5|12|-17|
| 8 Ultimately Social (green) | 8| 1| 7| 0| 4|-58|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 8 MUFcoy (yellow) 9 LaTUF
(black) 7
Round 8 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) 13 Infinity and Jelly Donuts
(hawaiian) 12
Round 8 Monash Uni (blue) 14 Ultimately Social
(green) 5
Round 8 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) 4 I Wish I Was Sweet As
(white) 11
Mixed Division One
_______________________________________________________
|________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Red Steel | 8| 6| 2| 0|24| 8|
| 2 Organic Stealtharama (black)| 8| 5| 3| 0|20| 4|
| 3 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white)| 8| 3| 5| 0|12| 10|
| 4 Honey Badgers (yellow) | 8| 2| 6| 0| 8|-22|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 8 Red Steel 11 Organic Stealtharama (black) 9
Round 8 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white) 15 Honey Badgers (yellow) 8
Albert Park League report, week 9
Well bugger me sideways with a swordfish, it's been an interesting week,
and only just begun raining on the Social Division. Well potentially.
When I started typing. My weather skills are usually bad, although I
did spot some Cumulus Mammatus this morning. Apologies for panicking
already and sending an email but I have to travel this weekend and I
can't possibly skip sending a vic-ultimate email.
Monday night Division Two saw wins by Donuts and MUCUS to maintain their
two-loss record. Interestingly they both managed to score enough points
to tie on overall goal difference after foiling all the tie-breakers.
So for the first time ever, the ranking of 1st and 2nd for the
semi-finals needs to be decided by a disc flip. Or boat races or
something. I assume the Captains of the two teams will work it out.
Obviously, as dedicated readers of this report would know, Tepid and
LaTUF both managed a loss, which was enough to leave Tepid in the finals
(yay us!). Monash and MUFcoy had their usual close match, with Monash
also keeping their two-loss record, and Ultimately Social -- the most
attractive green team since Hot and Buttered -- lost their final round
against IWIWIASSSWSSWWSA. IWWISISIAIASISSA managed to do themselves out
of the finals this season by winning every game and not paying up, which
is also a first. Still, with the talent on their team they should be in
Div One.
Speaking of which, the games last week still give Kleptomanic
Kross-dressing Kippers a shot at THE BIG TIME. Yes, a win over Organic
Stealtharama will see them into the final, he says not looking at the
results table. Badgers and Red Steel can satisfy themselves by running
around in circles and not getting injured I would think. Definitely a
big week for Ultimate. So games next week:
April 2
7pm Div 2 1st v Tepid Romantic Explosion
Div 2 2nd v Monash
IWIWASA v LaTUF
8:30pm MUFcoy v Ultimately Social
Honey Badgers v Red Steel
Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white) v Organic Stealtharama (black)
Wednesday: so cool.
Yippee Kai Yay,
Sam
PS Luck report: not a good week. I don't care who you are.
--
Mixed Division Two
_______________________________________________________________
|________________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian)| 9| 7| 2| 0|28| 48|
| MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) | 9| 7| 2| 0|28| 48|
| 3 Monash Uni (blue) | 9| 7| 2| 0|28| 45|
| 4 Tepid Romantic Explosion (black) | 9| 4| 5| 0|16| -3|
| 5 I Wish I Was Sweet As (white) | 9| 4| 0| 5|16| -6|
| 6 LaTUF (black) | 9| 3| 6| 0|12|-21|
| 7 MUFcoy (yellow) | 9| 3| 6| 0|12|-42|
| 8 Ultimately Social (green) | 9| 1| 8| 0| 4|-69|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 9 MUCUS Regurgitated (blue-white) 13 Tepid Romantic
Explosion (black) 9
Round 9 Monash Uni (blue) 15 MUFcoy (yellow)
10
Round 9 Infinity and Jelly Donuts (hawaiian) 15 LaTUF (black)
6
Round 9 Ultimately Social (green) 4 I Wish I Was Sweet As
(white) 15
Mixed Division One
_______________________________________________________
|________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Red Steel | 9| 6| 3| 0|24| 7|
| 2 Organic Stealtharama (black)| 9| 5| 4| 0|20| 1|
| 3 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white)| 9| 4| 5| 0|16| 11|
| 4 Honey Badgers (yellow) | 9| 3| 6| 0|12|-19|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 9 Red Steel 11 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white) 12
Round 9 Organic Stealtharama (black) 8 Honey Badgers (yellow) 11
Albert Park League report, week 10
Stop asking. A journalist really needs to keep their sources
confidential and, if I loosely add myself to that category, I can say
that my sources are safe. Divulging who and where I was told the scores
from last week can only place people's lives in danger. I am sworn to
secrecy, but I can divulge the following: it's all Ash's fault.
Div 2 semi's saw an upset. Early in the evening MUCUS won a toss of two
discs to beat Scamby in the simple ability of deciding who can call
where two discs may land. Spectators thought that Scamby's call of
"edge" was brave, but not as brave as the outfit he was seen prancing
around in later. Claiming that he is an American, although technically
true, is likely not to win friends with any of his former Canadian
compatriots. The elated and thus somewhat miasmic MUCUS -- just for you
James -- thus earned the right to play the fourth-placed Tepid Romantic
Explosion while Magnum PI settled to battle it out with the third-placed
Monash. Unfortunately for MUCUS their opponents were a resurgent Tepid
who were buoyed by having a full-strength if slightly tardy contingent
of women. Stand-out was Kate "I can catch everything" Flanagan who, and
I know this sounds dumb, caught everything, and then did sensible things
with the disc. What a tactic! In the other semi-final, Monash just
managed to lose to Magnum PI. I think. I was trying to pay attention
to the game, but I couldn't take my eyes off Scamby who was
Beckham-esque in his on-field display of fashion. Other games were
played but absolutely no one felt the need to keep me informed of
eventualities.
In the other Division, commonly known as Division "One", I am told that
there were wins by Red Steel over Honey Badgers, ending the latter's
season, and by Koutafides' Kleptomanic Kippers over Orgasmic
Stealtharama, propelling the former into the Division "One" final. You
couldn't even predict a result like that, although I did make up the
actual results, having only been given the goal differences of the
games. So for those hanging on to their fairy lights in the vain
attempt to see further into the future, I bring you your manna from heaven:
Monday 15th of April: Finals
7pm Infinity and Jelly Donuts v Tepid Romantic Explosion
8:30pm Red Steel v Korny Kipper Klub
Looks like a fantastic night of ultimate not to be repeateded in
Victoria until the next week, when Nationals lands on our parched soil.
Although this is the one more likely to display Bollywood dancing.
Hopefully there will be a BBQ too, he says not lifting a finger to help.
Wednesdays? Mel is being funnier than me, so I might have to retire
from my pathetic attempts to report on those games.
Cheers,
Sam
PS Luck Report: do not end up drinking too much at the Nationals party.
This is not so much a luck thing, but simply some firm advice. Been
there done that last century. Your lucky colour is beige, your lucky
food is tofu. Imbibing either -- and some think they are the same thing
-- may make you think you live longer. Otherwise try a duck-liver pate.
All recommendations of recipes for the latter gratefully received and
therefore considered lucky. 372197.
--
Mixed Division One
_______________________________________________________
|________________________________|Ply|Win|Los|Fft|Pt|_GD|
| 1 Red Steel | 10| 7| 3| 0|28| 11|
| 2 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white)| 10| 5| 5| 0|20| 12|
| 3 Organic Stealtharama (black)| 10| 5| 5| 0|20| 0|
| 4 Honey Badgers (yellow) | 10| 3| 7| 0|12|-23|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Round 10 Kamp Krusty's Kadets (white) 14 Organic Stealtharama (black) 13
Round 10 Red Steel 14 Honey Badgers (yellow) 10
Albert Park League report, finals week
Hi all,
Yes, I know I'm late with this report -- my final report -- but I have
good excuses, all of which are so boring they are not worth repeating.
But it does give me the opportunity to say congratulations to Team Box
for being finalists in the Women's Division at Nationals, and of course
congratulations to the Chilly boys for their third successive National
title! By my reckoning that makes two gold stars and an elephant stamp
(all scratch and sniff). Thanks to Nicky, Mel, Bart, Simon et al on,
from what I saw, was an excellent tournament. The ground was even mushy
where I was standing.
A few weeks ago saw the finals of both the Monday night Mixed Divisions.
The first game was the play-off between Tepid Romantic Explosion and I
Know What You Are Thinking, Time Has Little To Do With Infinity And
Jelly Donuts, who complained about me not spelling out their name in
reports. Pre-game, Tepid won the toss and immediately got heckled about
picking up Bobby the American four weeks previously even though they
were the hat team. Nice going Scamby, oh co-captain of Chilly (the all
Victorian team).
The game started with I Know What You Are Thinking, Time Has Little To
Do With Infinity And Jelly Donuts taking the early lead followed by goal
trading to a 2-2 point margin. The points took longer than the above
description. The next point saw a ramp up in intensity resulting in
Carroll kicking the disc. What a way to get the crowd involved! I Know
What You Are Thinking, Time Has Little To Do With Infinity And Jelly
Donuts scored for the 3-2 margin. Tepid hucked too long in the next
point, Meg threw a marvelous hammer, there was another turn and a quick
reply by Tepid to 3-3. Bored yet? The crowd wasn't. On the next point
-- which saw Steve lay out out of the endzone -- the crowd were on the
field in their enthusiasm, or possibly because they didn't see the line.
Pete was so enthused he stayed there. I Know What You Are Thinking,
Time Has Little To Do With Infinity And Jelly Donuts threw long to get
the point in the end. The next point lasted at least 25 minutes: I know
since I was on the field. It started with Carroll proving extra crowd
entertainment by bitch-slapping Scamby right on the line. This was
followed by Raph blocking the disc, a great sliding catch from Sascha,
Gabe blocking a goal throw, and the most controversial out call of the
game by yours truly. To be honest I did have the best perspective, and
had been having a rest for a bit down that end so the point seemed to be
shorter than it actually was. It was thankfully ended by a Mama to give
a 4-4 scoreline. The next point was disappointing for it's speed, and I
Know What You Are Thinking, Time Has Little To Do With Infinity And
Jelly Donuts managed to follow that up for the first break of the game:
6-4. Pete managed a juggling catch for Tepid that took so long a couple
of players went off for a snag, given that the BBQ had been fired up.
Then I Know What You Are Thinking, Time Has Little To Do With Infinity
And Jelly Donuts took the half with the next two points 8-5.
Tepid came out fired up after the half scoring a quick goal: I think
this was the pinpoint forehand throw from Carroll on the sideline
curling back into field to Steve in the corner of the endzone. Points
were traded: 8-6, 9-6, and 9-7, until Tepid came back with the break
9-8. I'd give you more detail about those points except I forget.
Basically that was as close as it got. Tepid ran out of legs, and I
Know What You Are Thinking, Time Has Little To Do With Infinity And
Jelly Donuts took the next two points to make the final score 11-8. A
deserved win to the unfashionable team.
At this point I took the chance to utilise the BBQ and the seemingly
never-ending supply of beer. Something like half a dozen others,
however, defied logic and played their second final of the night. This
was Red Steel playing Kool Kat Kollective in the the Div 1 battle.
This, unfortunately, one-sided affair was livened by the sudden
introduction of Frank and the Fonetic Phanboys on the sideline. Much
cheering came from them which was, from what we could tell, all vowels.
By the third point they managed a consonant, if you count "y", but at
least the enthusiasm was there. Red Steel took the early lead, with the
Kollective Kool Kats answering early. Red Steel then took the next three
points, which included an excellent grab from the rested Tom Flanagan.
They followed that up with another three points according to Martin, who
seemed to be the only one able to keep up with the scoring. The Kats of
Kollective Kool seemed to be lagging with a number of Div 2 players who
obviously put in their all in the previous game. 7-1 to Red Steel saw
the introduction of stubby guts. The Katty Kool Kollective dragged on
back to 7-2. Frank and the Fonetic Phanboys used a "t". And Tom hucked
long to Mel on the run to take the half 8-2. More stubby guts, with
Paul "Billiards" Egan cheating by throwing uncharacteristically accurate
discs in from the side.
Kollective of Kat's Kool took the first point of the next half, which
was the last for a while: Red Steel took the next 6 points to 14-3. The
crowd were entertained when Red hucked -- am I right in assuming Tom --
around the light pole. James "Miasma" Reynolds caught a goal for Kamp
Krusty's Kadets -- that can't be right -- and immediately ran off field.
Bruce delivered the final huck, also around the light poll to the
delight of Frank et al who discovered "b", and Red Steel finished things
off taking the last to a 15-4 score-line.
Presentations were made by Ash and Scamby, who was heckled with "nice
socks", and "he's got a small dick but he's alright". Completely unfair
and definitely should not be repeated. Scamby, el presidente, was man
enough to let such heckles slide by simply pointing out that it was all
in perfect working order. Congratulations to the MVPs and spirit
winners. I forgot who you were. And that rounds out my recollection of
the night.
Of course what kind of pathetic report would this be if I wasn't
mentioning Wednesday night Social Division.
So thanks to the words of encouragement, adoring fan. As mentioned
previously, this is my final report as I'm heading overseas to partake
in some Italian cuisine. For six months. Got to love long service
leave (don't worry I'll be back irritating people in November). Thanks
to the VFDA committee for all their continuing work and not telling me
to stop. Thanks to Ash, Michelle and Mel without whom I'd have nothing
to spout about and you would have nothing to play. Thanks to my
girlfriend Hal for her words of encouragement and laughing while
proofreading these sodding diatribes, which seems to encourage me.
Thanks to Ash Scroggie for not turning up and playing this season.
Thanks to the word "soporific" for just being awesome even though I
never got around to using it. And mostly thanks to you, the punters,
for turning up and playing one of the most stupid and yet enjoyable
sports in the world.
Regards,
Sam
PS Luck Report: your lucky month is July 11th. Long white socks are
potentially lucky but will have people staring at you. Consider
undertaking a personal development course: the stars are aligned nicely
for Cake Decorating, and Belly Dancing for Rain and Profit. 12-23-7 hike.